Light that Cigarette

In my outpatient clinic, I often receive patients complaining of cough and difficulty breathing. After careful observation, I ask the patient “So, How many sticks of cigarette do you consume in a day?” They hesitate to answer.

“How long have you been smoking?” I usually don’t ask if the patient smokes when I see subtle clues that the patient is a smoker.

Patients sometimes pride themselves of smoking since their teen years. They started smoking because their friends or families smoke. “If you cant beat them, Join them.”

After a brief explanation that smoking is the cause of the patient’s complaints, I ask. “When do you plan to quit smoking?” This is where I am amused by different replies I get from my patients. Many would say “I quit already, Doc”.

“Since When?” I asked. “When my cough started”

“Do you have plans of going back to smoking after I relieve you of your complaints?” Then they humor me with their reply. 

“No Doc.”

I smile as I tell my patients “Istoryahe!”

Smokers deny the fact that to quit smoking is a difficult process. They often boast “I can quit anytime I want but I don’t want to do it just yet”. Many smokers have tried more than once to quit smoking. They remain smoke-free for a few weeks but relapse after a night out with friends. To quit smoking is not easy when your family or friends are smokers.

Cigarettes are addicting. Some of the constituents of cigarette smoke affect the emotion centers of the brain and stimulate your heart. After smoking, you feel more alert and focused. Many also claim that lighting a cigarette lightens up their mood.

So light that cigarette. They can help.

They help Doctors make a living when you get smoker’s cough or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Cigarette smoke destroys our lungs and increases the incidence of lung infection. They also increase the likelihood of getting lung and oral cancer. Light that cigarette today and visit your Doctor tomorrow.

Smokers also help solve the problem of overpopulation. Smokers often have short life spans because smoking increases the risk of heart disease, stroke and sudden death. Cigarette smoke contain chemicals that are poisonous or dangerous like formaldehyde, arsenic, cyanide, naphtalene, cadmium, carbon monoxide, mercury, lead and cloroform. Smoking also causes erectile dysfunction. Forget birth control. Light that cigarette.

They also help kill insects because cigarette smoke contains DDT (a very potent insecticide). Smokers sacrifice their lungs and their health to help prevent dengue fever and malaria. Go ahead. Light that cigarette. Burn your lungs and kill those mosquitoes.

Cigarette smoking does have unique advantages. If you think about it, maybe smoking is not so bad after all. Go ahead. Light your next cigarette.

Occasionally, patients joke about their smoking addiction and ask me “Doc, what can help me permanently quit smoking?” My reply is brief and simple. “Lung Cancer. Its free and effective”.

Published: Sunstar Newspaper November 21, 2011